I hope you had a great New Year's Eve and have come into 2018 ready to work on changing your life for the better!
2017 was one of the most rewarding, but challenging, years to date for me. I sometimes feel bad about taking time off work - especially from my full time job - but as I sit in the airport with Gemma Song by my side, preparing to leave on a 6 day vacation full of adventure and relaxation in the Dominican Republic, I can't help but feel it is well deserved!
"What a time to be alive" seems like a better motto for 2017 than 2015. I personally feel as though 2017 put me through the gauntlet. I was promoted at work to a position of leadership that has challenged me and led to growth in my personal and professional life that I had not anticipated. I started taking real steps that will lead me to medical school, which has been a lifelong dream of mine since I was a little girl. I made the plunge into becoming a "traditional" full service sex worker in January 2017, after flirting with the idea for several months at the close of 2016. It's been hard balancing the demands of an insane schedule, but I have managed it quite well- so well, in fact, that I am one of Washington, D.C.'s top 10 providers on TER.
I know that there will be, as usual, many unexpected challenges and circumstances that I will have to face this year. But I feel strong, empowered, and aware. I learned so much in 2017 that I honestly feel more than prepared for 2018. I've made some profound decisions that set big plans in motion. Some of the changes in my life you will see manifesting over the next 2-3 months.
I wanted to take a moment to share some of the things I learned this year:
- "I get mine - by any means on whenever there's a drought. Get your umbrellas out because, that's when I brainstorm." [Jay-Z] - I've had my back against the wall so many times in life and have always managed to come out on top because of resourcefulness and ingenuity. Those two things will take you so far. I feel like most people are constantly waiting for the right resources to become available to them... as if they'll miraculously drop into their lap. In reality, the circumstances will rarely ever be perfect (in hindsight, they may appear that way; but when you're living it, it'll seem like the odds were against you). If you're waiting on the right people to contact you, you're leaving things to chance. When you’re waiting for opportunities instead of creating them, you are slowing yourself down. It is important to be someone who mines the resources necessary. Create your own circumstances to manufacture your own success. As Beyoncé once said, "I don't like to gamble, but if there's one thing I'm willing to bet on, it's myself."
- There will always be that one person who isn't happy with what you did or said. I am a person who always has good intentions, never wants to hurt people, and will literally give my last to help someone else. But some people refuse to acknowledge and accept help or feedback. It will take me a while to not let some folks nastiness get under my skin, the way this idiot did after I posted a thoughtful, articulate piece on last minute appointments. But I am getting closer and closer to being #unbothered by reminding myself that some people will just never be happy with anything you do (especially when you're trying to help them). I certainly do not have to let negative people pull me into their pools of misery.
- Trust my instincts. As a trained scientist, I typically value rationalization above intuition. But sometimes my intuition speaks so boldly and clearly that it throws me for a loop. Becoming a sex worker has really honed my intuitive skills and made me realize how accurate my gut instinct usually is. Looking back, it has rarely been wrong about people, situations, or opportunities.
- The importance of good friends who share your values, priorities, and mindset. I went to an all girls boarding school and used to always want that big group of girlfriends. Instead, I have maintained a few very close friendships for long periods of time. I am becoming more content with that because I now realize how much value these few friends add to my life and how much my current success and vision for the future is influenced by having good people around. Conversely, people who do not have your best interest at heart can be a huge hindrance to your progress in life. Lazy, unmotivated, pessimistic, and doubtful people will begin to transfer those behaviors and thought patterns to you if you are repeatedly exposed to them. I am thankful for friends like Bre Jolie and Gemma Song, who help me think through problems and nudge me in the right direction.
- Positivity is powerful. We often attract what we are. When you speak positively about your life, it spreads. Suddenly, things aren't bad anymore. Good things start happening, opportunities become more apparent to us. When you are a good, positive person, people want to be around you. They want to help you. Of course, it's hard to be positive when things aren't going your way. But that's also when perspective matters most. To feel inspired and tap into your resourcefulness, you usually have to resolve for things to be better - in other words, you have to commit to a positive outcome in spite of what is going on.
Here are a few of my New Year's Resolutions with you all:
- Create more quality content. Blogging is a huge part of that plan. I hope to create more posts that are relevant and interesting to you. I also want to improve my writing skills, learn more photography techniques, and introduce video media. Please let me know if there is anything you want to see (more of).
- Do some international touring. There's a whole big world out there to see and many people to meet!
- Fully flesh out my BDSM/fetish/kink offerings. Some of my most enjoyable 2017 appointments were fetish, bondage, domination, and submission. I want to do more of those things, which means I should devote more branding and marketing resources to ensure people know that I am truly open minded and comfortable exploring the depths of pleasure. I also plan to seek out more training on relevant techniques and invest in even more equipment. Booking a BDSM/fetish/fantasy session with me is the best way to support this endeavor.
- PADI certification. I conquered my fear of water by learning how to swim shortly after my 20th birthday, but I've still never worked up the courage to venture out into open water. That's going to change soon! The biologist in me wants to develop a deeper appreciation for marine wildlife, so its time for me to become a mermaid. I am going to dive school in 2018 and want to do at least 2-3 underwater adventures this year. Drop me a note via email if you want to sponsor my diving certification in part or in full.
- Do more cooking at home. I love food and the kitchen and dining room were often the focal point of many of my childhood memories with my family. Plus, so many aspects of southern culture are influenced by the culinary experience. I started following The Kitchenista Diaries and her recipes always leave my mouth watering. Let's do a cooking class at CulinAerie together on our next date, or you can teach me some of your cooking skills in private.
I'll be back, feeling refreshed, on January 7. In the meantime, you can still follow along on my Instagram and Twitter! You can also contact me to meet this month, and I'll reply to you as soon as I'm back in the U.S. Thank you for your continued support and I hope you have a happy and restful holiday!